Frustration is a very real emotion for someone with a hearing loss.
If someone you care about is losing their hearing, frustration will be one of the key emotions both parties will experience. The one that has normal hearing needs to be the one that understands and forgives when outbursts happen.
What causes the frustration?
Hearing loss impacts the ability to communicate, to connect. And the connection with others is everything, isn’t’ it?
The remarkable Helen Keller noted, in her supreme intelligence, that of the two deficiencies, blindness and deafness, that deafness was far more complex. Why? Blindness, she observed, separates people from things, whereas deafness separates people from people.
It is the loss of connection – for everyone – is the tragedy of hearing loss. A connection is so underrated. It is the core of a sense of well-being, of belonging to one’s world, of feeling valued. It is the cornerstone of personal and professional success.
Not being connected to conversations, and feeling left out, is frustrating, exhausting and often depressing. It is an ultimate act of kindness to understand and forgive the understandable outbursts of frustration.
Keeping the Connection Alive
So what can we do? How can we keep the connection alive? By applying Hearing loss CPR. “CPR ” is an acronym for what we can do to help communicate and connect despite hearing loss. Let’s examine C{R more closely:
Close:
Don’t try talking a person when they are in another room or even across the room. Have them standing 3-5 feet in front of you.
A leading UCLA researcher discovered that only 7% of communication is achieved via the spoken word. 7%! 55% is body language, including the face and the lips, I the remaining 38% is vocal inflection and tonality. When a person is standing 3-5 feet in front of you, they have the benefit of reading your body, your face (including those lips) and hearing the tone of your voice. Those two things count for 93% of the communication.
Pause:
There is much power in what is called the pregnant pause because hearing is a function of the ears while comprehension is a function of the brain. A pause while speaking allows some time for the brain to comprehend what is being said.
Repeat and Rephrase:
If a person has asked “what” two times, rather than repeat exactly what you said a 3rd time, rephrase it.
The most memorable example I have is the waiter who asked me if I wanted Soup or Salad. I thought he offered a “super salad” to which I replied, “yes”. Confused, he raised his voice asked the same question again. “Soup or salad” Now I’m frowning and I checked to see if he is wearing hearing aids, and said “yes” again. Before the waiter could yell the question the 3rd time, my friend intervened. “Linnaea, the waiter is asking if you would like a bowl of soup, or would you prefer a salad? “
In Conclusion
When it comes to hearing loss, it is the loss of connection – for everyone – that is the root of frustration. It is an ultimate act of kindness to forgive the outbursts and practice a different way of communicating.
It is so gratifying to see the light of connection click on in another’s eyes. And the best part, you get the experience the benefit, the satisfaction of connection, too.
