It is essential to understand that hearing is a function of the ears, while COMPREHENSION of speech sounds is a function of the brain. We all employ the dynamics of hearing. Capitalize on them when communicating with a person who is hard of hearing.
A comment I often hear when I am successfully participating in a conversation is, “I thought you were deaf. How did you hear that?” I explain I am not entirely deaf. I further explain that I rely much on the dynamics of hearing, dynamics we all use to help the brain comprehend the speech sounds it is receiving. Those of us with hearing loss capitalize on these dynamics. They are:
- Topic and content of a conversation
- Body language and facial expressions
- Voice and tonality
Topic and Content of a Conversation in the Dynamics of Hearing
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone when suddenly, mid-stream, unexpectedly, and for no reason at all, they shift gears and talk about something else totally unrelated to the current discussion? What is your first response? “Huh?” “What?” “What ARE you talking about?” Is that because you have a hearing loss? No. When the conversation topic shifted without any warning, the subsequent verbiage did not “match” the topic and content the brain had been receiving and interpreting. For a brief time, you are at a loss until you know the topic and content of the new conversation. This often happens so fast you may not even be aware you are doing it. Nevertheless, we all do it.
Here is an exaggerated example for the sake of illustration:
Imagine you are standing in line at a convenience store, and someone from a foreign land with an incredibly strong accent comes up behind you and starts a conversation. The accent is so strong you strain hard; eyes squinted, to understand what this lovely person is enthusiastically saying. Suddenly you hear something that sounds like, “Magic Kingdom.” With THAT piece of information, you listen some more and, indeed, that is what the person is talking about – his recent visit to Disneyland®.
Armed with the topic of Disneyland®, you can comprehend the words better. Your brain is chock full of information about the subject of Disneyland. That information fills in the blanks. By-and-large, with the topic and content known, you have enough to participate in the conversation.
Now, suppose the person switches to a subject of which you know NOTHING – like nuclear physics. With no data bank of knowledge in your brain to draw upon, the brain cannot fill in the gaps of what you do not comprehend. Eventually, you will probably explain politely you cannot understand him and end the conversation – or bluff that you understand.
Using the Topic and Content of a Conversation
I hosted my own call-in radio show for 18 months a few years ago. Here the topic and content were crucial to the success of the interviews I conducted.
The broadcast was done from my home and aired over the Internet, using Skype®. I had a good microphone that had a jack for a headset. The interviewees were using a phone to connect with me.
The company I used was a high-end provider that has since closed shop. I had a live person monitoring everything on their end while the show was airing. I had a control panel where the company employee and I could type messages back and forth to one another during the show.
I was cautious about who I picked to be on my show. Many I already knew personally or professionally. I would have the guests send me details about their topics, so I benefited from the “topic and content” dynamics working for me. There were not many people on my show with a speech impediment or a strong accent. There were a few, and the fact I could not understand them is evident in the show.
Even with the best connection, guest, and conversation, when I listen to previous recordings, there are several incidences when I did not hear correctly, and the guest gracefully worked around it.
How can this knowledge serve those who have a hearing loss or are interacting with someone with a hearing loss? Make sure the TOPIC and the CONTENT of a conversation is clear.
Write It Down
After 2-3 repeats, if the other person is not following along, write it down or create a draft text message on your Smartphone and show it to the person.
You will see the light go on in the eyes, and relief spread over the face. They can now participate in the conversation, even if minimally.
An excellent audiologist whose husband is hard of hearing told me that when they are out to dinner with friends, she always clues him in when the topic of a conversation has shifted. That offers a better opportunity for him to stay connected with the party. She will turn to him and say, “Honey, we are now talking about the movie Terminator.” He smiles, nods, and the conversation continues – with him.
Take away here? When conversing with someone, whether they have perfect hearing or not, make sure the conversation’s topic and content are clear right from the get-go. If you discuss a subject for which the listener(s) is not familiar, be prepared to slow down and repeat yourself. Not because they have hearing loss, but because they are not familiar with the topic or content of THAT conversation.
The brain needs time to assimilate information. This goes for those with or without a hearing loss.
Body Language and Facial Expressions in the Dynamics of Hearing
As a professional speaker, I know how important it is to make sure my body language and facial expressions match what I am saying.
The body’s language and face are essential to my ability to comprehend what a person is saying to me. Before the days of closed captioning on TV, much of what I gleaned from the shows came from body language and facial expressions, and I did pretty darn good!
In a book titled, Nonverbal Communication, Dr. Albert Mehrabian, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA, claims facial expressions are almost eight times as powerful as those used. He explains that words only count for 7% of our message. He further explains that our body language conveys 55% of our message. These statistics, may I remind you, are for people who HEAR.
Look at these two sets of images. You can get a good idea of what the face and body depict without a single word spoken:
We do this unconsciously. But when communicating with someone with imperfect hearing, be conscious, and make sure that the person is looking at you before you speak. Hence, they have the benefit of “reading” you – all of you.
The Lips
Lip reading (also known as speech reading) merits its own entry. I go into detail about the myths associated with lip reading in another chapter. For this chapter, it is important to note that the lips are a part of reading the face. If relying solely on the lips, even the most skilled lip readers can only comprehend 40% of a conversation. However, lips, in combination with the body, face, and eyes, help to connect the dots, and make speech comprehension possible.
Voice and Tonality in the Dynamics of Hearing
When I was younger and had dogs, I always got a big kick out of saying awful things to them in a sweet voice and watching them respond positively. They were reacting not to my words but the tone of my voice. That is why, in addition to body language and facial expressions, the voice and tonality convey much more than words.
Dr. Albert Mehrabian reported that our voice relays 38% of a message. Have you noticed how one’s voice can reveal what a person is feeling deep down inside? Note how your voice conveys enthusiasm or boredom; pleasure or pain; sincerity or sarcasm; and happiness or sadness. The sound of your voice can help a person with a hearing loss understand what you are saying. You might even exaggerate the tone of your voice a bit to facilitate comprehension of your words.
In conclusion:
Only 7% of communication is achieved through the exchange of words. The other 93% of communication is achieved through body language, the lips, facial expressions, voice, and tonality.
Capitalize on this knowledge as a person with a hearing loss or when communicating with a person with a hearing loss by:
1. Being 3–5 feet away from the person with whom you are having a conversation.
2. Looking at one another before the conversation begins.
3. Making sure the topic and content of the discussion are clear from the get-go.
To gain further insight about hearing loss, you might consider obtaining a copy of my book. It is an honest, sometimes tragic, sometimes humorous, look at hearing loss.
