Here are eight hearing loss defining moments where I was aware of denying, accepting or recognizing the struggle with my disability.
At the time of writing this post, I am 68 years old. In those 68 years, I recall eight significant hearing loss moments. Here they are:
1.Birthday Party – circa 1957
Probably the most significant hearing loss defining moment was at a kids Birthday party. I was sitting at a table surrounded by kids my age (probably 4 years old); I recall balloons hanging above that seemed to be bigger than me. Everyone was having a good time except me. I thought to myself, “I am different.” It was surreal and unsettling since I didn’t know why or how.
2. Dad’s Watch – circa 1957
The second most significant hearing loss moment is when we realized I had one. My mom and I were in a parked car waiting for dad to return from a hardware store. Mom held a wristwatch to one ear and asked if I could hear anything. I could not. She held the watch up to the other ear. Nothing. The look on my mom’s face told me not hearing the ticking was not a good thing.
3. First boyfriend on the phone – 1970
At age 16, I, like so many other teens, spent an excessive amount of time on the phone with my then-boyfriend. I realized I could not understand much of what he said. So instead of asking him to repeat himself, I just pretended I had a distraction to take care of, asked him to hold on, then I’d return to the phone and say, “what was that you said.”
4. Skydiving – 1978
I parachuted at Skyworld ™ at Lake Elsinore, California. As I was floating down to the ground, the walkie-talkie strapped to my waist chattered at me. I did not understand anything I heard from it! Not wanting to open my spare chute when it was possibly unnecessary, I chose DEATH over letting people know I was hearing-impaired.
5. UCLA and psychiatrist – 1998
After a dismal failure in my career that cost me a huge demotion in position and income, I sought the help of a therapist to try to restore my diminished self-esteem. That patient therapist helped me see that life was difficult because I was not in touch with my physical disability. I was not aware of the extent it affected my life. When finally convinced, I changed my work voicemail to alert callers of my hearing loss. My recorded message instructed, “Please speak slowly, clearly, and enunciate numbers; you are leaving a message for a hearing-impaired person.” From that point on, the focus of my life shifted from proving me to others (to be accepted) to me accepting my hearing loss and myself.
6. Cochlear Implant activation- 2016
The long-awaited cochlear Implant activation was one of the most significant hearing loss moments letdown I’ve ever experienced. Rather than great hearing, it was more like the flight of the bumblebees. Electric robotic sounds that my brain had to be trained to interpret into comprehension. It was a very long time before speech was audible. Environmental sounds were clear, but not speech.
7.TEDx Experience – 2017
Never dreamed I’d come so far in my awareness and acceptance of my hearing disability to share insights about hearing loss with a global TEDx audience
8. COVID 19 – 2020-present
Since the advent of the COVID pandemic, I’ve struggled with everyone’s lips being covered with masks. It has made shopping, traveling, and nearly anything else one would do in public challenging.
