As I stated in my TedX talk and my books, I was often unaware – or unwilling – to acknowledge my hearing disability for much of my life. This included not recognizing behaviors that I adopted to survive my disability. However, I finally realized them for what they are – hearing loss survival tactics.
You may find you do the same or consider adopting them to make functioning in the mainstream of life more manageable.
ORDERING FAST FOOD OR COFFEE AT THE COUNTER
I often mused why I made such a big deal about having my license, charge card, cash, and coupon, if any, in hand before stepping up to a counter to place an order. And, of course, what I want to order is decided upon way early in line.
Upon honest examination, I realized I do this so that while placing the order, I can be looking at the clerk’s lips to ascertain if s/he is asking for more information. On the other hand, if I’m fishing for my cash, card, or whatever while placing the order, I will have to ask the clerk to repeat their question as I was not looking at their face.
WALKING TOWARD A PERSON
I often wondered why I automatically look at the ground while walking toward someone I’m about to engage in conversation with. Now I know. It is so the person will not start talking to me before I reach a close enough distance to hear them. But unfortunately, it doesn’t always work. Some people will talk anyway, but they will have to repeat themselves once I am close.
ASKING WORK COLLEAGUES TO CHECK OUT SOMETHING I’M LOOKING AT ON THE COMPUTER AS THEY ENTER MY OFFICE
In thinking back on my career at UCLA, I appreciate my co-workers’ patience as I practiced habits to help me manage my disability. For example, when I ask them to look at something before talking about what they came in to talk about, I have established a beginning conversation on a familiar topic. That way, I felt I was standing on more friendly grounds if I needed to ask the person to repeat themselves once they started talking.
IN A CLASSROOM OR MEETING, ASK PARTICIPANTS TO RAISE THEIR HAND BEFORE SPEAKING SO I KNOW WHERE THE VOICE IS COMING FROM
It took a while for me to ask this of my students because it revealed my shortcomings. However, this was easier than feeling like a moron as I scoured the room to figure out who was talking. Of course, once I spotted them, they would have to repeat themselves as I missed the opportunity to read their lips and perhaps even move closer to them. Additionally, if I lead a discussion on a ZOOM call, I ask people to hit the “raise hand” icon or wave so I can read their lips before they start to talk.
HEARING LOSS SURVIVAL TACTICS – IN CONCLUSION
I appreciate how the human mind devices survival mechanisms that we do not recognize as such. The realization of my survival practices has enabled me to exercise patience when someone else is doing something that seems unnecessary or even stupid. They, too, might be in a survival mode for reasons I am unaware.
I find it best to BE KIND – the catchphrase of this decade in all interactions with others. As one of my favorite quotes says,
You have no idea what people are dealing with, so just be nice. It’s that simple.
-unknown
