Questions about Hearing Loss 8-10

More questions about hearing loss

I recently gave a 20-minute keynote about hearing loss. The reviews and responses were overwhelmingly positive.
The title of the talk is “WHAT? 10 Questions Most Often asked about Hearing Loss” The talk is based on my experience as a person with hearing loss and a lifetime of questions asked of me concerning the deficiency. This is a spinoff from the overview post of the questions about hearing loss talk. This post addresses questions about hearing loss 8-10.

Remember, as explained in the overview post – we hear (meaning comprehending and understanding sounds) with our brains, not our ears. If you turn on your TV to a foreign film and turn off the captioning, you hear, yes, but you do not understand. Why? Because our BRAIN has not been trained to understand those particular “sounds.”

Answering Questions about hearing loss 8-10

8. How come sometimes you hear fine, and other times you are totally lost?

This is always a very awkward occurrence for me. The reason is usually that the speaker has suddenly changed the topic of conversation and my brain has not caught up yet. Remember, we hear with our brains, not our ears.

Certainly, you’ve had the experience of a person suddenly switching gears and brings up a topic totally unrelated to what you were previously listening to. You may stop them and ask “what? What ARE you talking about.” You hear, but do not comprehend. It is polite, and critical if the person has a hearing loss – to make sure the topic of the conversation is clear before rattling on.

The example I like to use is if you are in line at a grocery store and a person with an extremely thick accent turns, smiles, and starts telling you about something they are obviously really excited about. You strain and strain to get what they are saying. They realize you are not understanding them so they open their hoodie and expose their t-shirt. It says “Disneyland.” AHHH. Your brain has lots of information about the magic kingdom. And, magically, you are able to discern much more of what our enthusiastic visitor is sharing because the brain now knows the conversation topic and fills in the “gaps” with prior knowledge of the subject.

9. My mom, dad, friend, relative, co-worker, the boss is losing their hearing. What can I do? Shouting does help.

You got that right. Shouting does NOT help. Let’s go back to that foreign film with the captioning turned off. You hear but do not comprehend. Now turn up the volume louder. Does it help you understand better? Turn me up even louder. Does that help? Nope. What those of us with hearing loss need is not volume but clarity. The following “CPR” tips bring clarity to the table – giving the person with hearing loss a better chance to participate in the conversation.

May I add that this CPR is beneficial for ANYONE you are talking to, whether an audience of one or 1,000.

C stands for two things. Close and Content.

Once this covid era has ended, close means have the person standing 3 feet in front of you. This enables them to hear you better, see your lips and face, hear your voice inflections, and read your body language.

Content refers to making sure the topic of the conversation is clear before proceeding. Recall the foreign visitor and the Disneyland example.

“P” Stands for pause. That beautiful pregnant pause.

Speakers know the importance of pausing between ideas to allow the audience’s head to digest the message.

Well, this is doubly important when speaking to someone who has hearing loss.

Suppose my husband says to me:

“honeyiamgoingtothestoretobuymilkbecauseiamhavingcereal later.”

“huh,” I ask? So he shortens his sentences and inserts pauses:

Honey (pauses to make sure I’m looking at him.) I am going to the store. I am buying milk. I am having cereal later.

Ahh. Communication achieved. And isn’t it easier to hear? It is! But warning.

You do not want to do this:

h-o-n-e-y…………….i………………am……………..going………………to…………..the…………..store.

I haven’t the patience for THAT method of talking to me. Few do. I might reach out and strangle him (or the person talking to me that way.)

“R ” stands for rephrasing and repeat

I recall when my dad lost most of his hearing later in life. He did not wear ear protection while working in the Lockheed machine shops. Most men in the 1960’s didn’t. So, now he is in his late 70’s, and my mom is trying to talk to him. She SCREAMS at the top of her lungs. Her face is red. Blood vessels pop out of her neck. Yet, dad doesn’t understand. Exasperated, I would suggest she write it down!

My favorite example of rephrasing and repeat is a waiter at a restaurant. He approaches the table where my husband and I said and asks ‘WOULDYOULIKESOUPORSALAD?”

I hear, “would you like a super salad.”

So I smile and say “yes!”. The waiter frowns and repeats his question. ‘WOULDYOULIKESOUPORSALAD?” Now I’m checking to see if the waiter is wearing hearing aids, and I reply, “yes.” Again.

Now my husband pipes in.

“Honey. He is asking you if you would like a bowl of soup. Or a salad? AHHHH. Communication achieved.

If you have repeated something twice and the recipient has not yet understood, rephrase it. And make sure you are using short sentences interspersed with those pauses.